What a Charmer

The inner monologue of this cheap doofus really bothers me.

This guy looks to be about 30 years old, and this must be a first date because he doesn't seem to know much about the girl he's with. At 30 years old though, TGI Fridays is not where I'd be taking a girl on a date. Maybe when I was 17. But 30? Not so much.

Anyway, the girl says, "I'll have the green bean fries", and this douchebag thinks to himself, "Nice, a light eater. I'm getting off easy."

Green bean fries are a $7 appetizer at Fridays. Does this guy really think that $7 is the sum total of what he's going to spend on her dinner tonight? Oh, wait, $7.25 with the sizable tip this prince is sure to leave the server.

She continues, "And for my entree, I'll have the sizzling chicken and cheese."

He begins to panic. "Entree? Chicken... Whoa!"

"Chicken...Whoa." Really? It's not like she ordered a 2 pound lobster, you dick.

And finally, his date decides that "...for dessert, I'll have the cheesecake."

Wincing now, he whines, "What am I, a bank?"

Yes, you dumbass, you are a bank. You are the bank of $21.99, which is approximately what your date's meal would cost at a typical TGI Fridays.

After he realizes she's ordered from the special "3 courses for $12.99" menu however, he becomes relieved and happy.

He should be relieved and happy, relieved and happy that an attractive girl like this would even go out to dinner with a cheap loser like him. (Although if she continues to eat fried beans, cheese and cheesecake, she may not remain attractive for too much longer.)

I don't have a problem with Friday's. If you can get a 3 course meal at a sit down restaurant for $12.99, that's awesome.

No, the problem I have here is that the message (3 course meal for $12.99) is completely obscured by the creative, which is so far off base it's like casting Gary Coleman in The Shaquille O'Neal Story.

A $12.99 price point appeals to very young people or people with families to feed. Not 30 year old guys on a first date. So if this guy is a teenager, then this scenario makes sense. Maybe he's there with his date and her 3 kids. Then it makes even more sense. But if he honestly can't pony up the $45 that dinner for two at Fridays would cost then why is he there at all? Why didn't he take her somewhere else, like Pizza Hut? Or why not just ask his mommy for the money, since it's likely that a clueless loser like this still lives at home with his parents.

Look, not everyone can afford the fanciest restaurant in town. So if Friday's is the place you can afford for your dinner date, that's cool. But if you go there, you actually have to spend some dough on the girl. Because that's part of the point of the date in the first place. You have to let her see that she's important enough to you that she can order from the regular menu. But all this skinflint can think about is spending as little as possible on this girl and this meal.

I'm surprised he's not paying with a coupon.