Rapey is as rapey does...

I was speaking to a Exec Producer friend of mine a couple of days ago. When we were done talking business, he asked me if I'd seen the Super Bowl, specifically if I'd seen the Audi Prom ad.

I told him yes, and that I thought it was one of the better ads. He agreed. But then he went on to tell me that he'd told a few people how much he liked the ad, and they'd called him a misogynist, and a woman hater, and how could he like an ad that promotes sexual abuse?

I said "huh?"

In case you haven't seen the ad, here it is:

I don't see anything particularly misogynistic about this ad. But apparently a columnist at the Philly Post did, labeling it "rapey."

Now I'm pretty sure "rapey" isn't even a word because when I tried to play it in Words With Friends I got a message that said "Sorry, rapey is not an acceptable word."

But let's pretend rapey is a word. What about this ad makes it rapey? Well, the columnist, Joel Mathis, was kind enough to include a "rapey" checklist. Here it is:

• The young woman who receives the kiss chose to be at prom with someone else.

• Our “hero” forcibly turns her around and jams his mouth to hers almost before she can identify him, and certainly without any permission being sought or given. What’s more, this is a demonstration of his new, Audi-fueled power.

• He leaves prom without her—suggesting that she still chooses to be at prom with somebody else.

I don't know that I'd call this rapey. I would call it a male fantasy, though. Yes, men actually daydream and fantasize. And although most of these daydreams culminate with a box of Kleenex and a bottle of lotion, some don't.  And I'm certain that kissing the prettiest girl in school who would never go out with you because she was dating the football hero is a pretty common daydream.  

Audi's got it right here. Bravery is what defines us. It's not the only thing, but it's one of them. For the next month in school, this kid is going to be a superhero and a stud.

But back to the rapey bit. That really got me thinking. How much pop culture is actually sexual battery in disguise? Based on Mathis' checklist, I've defined a rating scale for some of our most famous (now infamous) pop culture and entertainment moments. Here's the scale:

• MR:  Mildly rapey. Contains elements that could lead to an uncomfortable situation
• VR:  Very rapey. This is definitely going in a bad direction.
• ER:  Extremely rapey. This cannot end well.

So here we go:

From Here to Eternity:  Burt Lancaster is holding Deborah Kerr against her will on the beach, but she manages to escape his brutish grasp and run away. Winded from the lengthy chase, she collapses on a blanket. Lancaster, menacing and dripping, drops to his knees and (uugh) kisses her. Disgusting. She says she "never knew it could be like this." But she doesn't say she likes it. 

Rating "VR": He's a big guy. No way she can escape him twice.

Ross and Rachel's First Kiss:  They've just had a huge argument, she throws him out of the coffee shop and locks the door behind him. He slinks back and throws her the Schwimmer puppy dog pout.  She takes pity and unlocks the door, only for him to force it open and force himself on her. Pig.

Rating "VR":  This scene takes place halfway through season 2.  If she wanted to kiss him, she would have done it before now.

Lady and the Tramp:  Lady and the deviant is more like it. This guy can't even be bothered to go inside the restaurant, he takes her to dinner in the alley. Then he's all over her right at the table, like an animal.  He'll be mounting that bitch behind the dumpster in no time. Thank god they pan up to the clotheslines so we don't have to witness that humiliation.

Rating "ER":  Poor girl.  When she gazes at the night sky with those stars in her eyes, I can't help but think that she's wondering what her life might have been if she never got mixed up with this cheap bastard.

The Quiet Man:  It's a stormy night in Innisfree and John Wayne finds the impossibly beautiful Maureen O'Hara in his ramshackle cottage. Forget that he's the mysterious new stranger in town, forget that they've been throwing eyes at each other for a couple of weeks now, goddammit, he's going to have his way with her and he's going to have it now.  But this is classic Hollywood deception.  If you watch the clip all the way through, she kisses him at the end.  I'm confused.  Who's rapey now?

Rating "MR":  The kisses cancel each other out.  This is just two people in a hut on a rainy night.

2003 Academy Awards:  Yo Adrien. This could not be more rapey.  To wit:

• Halle Berry did not attend the Oscars with Adrien Brody
• He forcibly kisses her in a demonstration of his new, Oscar fueled power and,
• He leaves the awards without her.

Rating "ER":  Hey, I'm just going by the checklist, bro.

 

Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs:  Can you say Roofies, anyone? The girl is in a fucking coma for Chrissakes.

Rating "ER":  She doesn't even know who this guy is!

Gone With the Wind:  OK, I would never use the term "she was asking for it," but have you seen Gone With the Wind? 

Rating "NRAA" (Not Rapey At All): She's asking for it. For all 238 minutes, she's asking for it.

So that's a look at some entertainment moments you might have thought were innocent or heartwarming or romantic. Thanks, Joel Mathis for opening our eyes to what's really been going on all this time.

By the way, I just recently wrapped up a commercial with the same directing team that did the Audi spot. I can assure you, they are the least rapiest guys I've ever met.