The Gloved One and a couple more

What a crazy week it was.

Only hours after Farrah Fawcett had gone, the bomb that is the death of Michael Jackson exploded on the world. I don't care who you are or where you live, if you've been alive since 1969, when the Jackson 5 really hit, Michael Jackson was a part of your life. He was a extraordinarily talented entertainer and his contributions to pop music and music video inarguably changed those two art forms forever.

He was also one strange dude.

My wife has always asserted that his strangeness was completely natural. Her point being that this was a kid who from the age of 8 was a prisoner of his own fame. Imagine if you couldn't open your front door and step outside because you'd be set upon by a screaming mob. Can't go down to the corner for a Coke. Can't go to the movies. Can't do anything that is not documented and photographed and scrutinized. I mean, here's a guy who had an Elvis level of fame at 8 years old. How do you deal with that?

And the work. The relentless, ongoing work, the practicing and performing, the traveling, the packing and unpacking. Michael Jackson spent his childhood in a studio or on a stage. Not in a playground. Not in a park. This guy's childhood was taken from him, and I think he spent the rest of his life trying to get it back.

Granted, he acted strangely, and for me the jury is still out on his relationships with little boys. But there is no doubt he was a genius. He brought joy to millions of people who loved his music. He inspired people, made them laugh and dance, consoled them when they were hurting and sad.

So that begs the question... if his father, Joe Jackson, hadn't driven Michael and his brothers so hard, hadn't kept them in the studio rehearsing till the wee hours of the morning, if he hadn't stolen all that time from them, would we ever even have known who Michael Jackson was at all? If the Jacksons went to school, played in the yard, did their homework, and rehearsed only a few hours a week, would they have attained that skill level, the incredibly tight singing, dancing and musicianship that rocketed them to the top of the charts?

Or would their career have consisted of a few gigs at the local fairgrounds each summer and a couple of high school dances?

I think if Joe Jackson hadn't pushed those kids so hard, they never would have achieved that level of fame. And we never would have heard of Michael Jackson or the Jackson 5. We would have lived without "ABC" and "Dancing Machine" and "I'll Be There" and "I Want You Back" and "Ben" and "Thriller" and "Billie Jean" and "Rock You" and "She's Out of My Life" and a hundred others.

So is that right, what Joe Jackson did? At the end of the day he stole his kid's life and gave it to us. Thank you Joe... I think.

I didn't have a poster of Ed McMahon hanging in my room (did anyone?), but there is no doubt he was a part of my life, at least as far as TV and entertainment went. From "Heeeeeeeeeeere's Johnny" to the Publisher's Clearing House, Ed was always there. Kind of like that friendly neighbor who lives down the block. You're sad he's passed, and you remember him fondly. And then your life goes on.

I miss Billy Mays already. Billy Mays did a Rula Lenska on America, just walked right up to the camera and "Hi, Billy Mays here for Oxi Clean" as if he'd been there all along. As if we had any idea who he was or what the hell he was talking about. He just pulled up a chair sat right down at our dinner tables as if we'd been watching him for years, and you know what... we bought it. And then we went out and bought a crapload of Oxi Clean and Mighty Putty and Kaboom and whatever the fuck else he was selling. He created an instant authority for himself and it worked. At first people were, "well I don't know who Billy Mays is, but he seems to know what he's talking about." And then 5 minutes later it was, "well, if Billy Mays says it's good, it must be. I gotta buy me some of that."

The first time I saw this clip I didn't think it was that funny. The second time I watched it I laughed out loud. Now I start laughing immediately. Is it the most fitting homage to Billy Mays? I don't know, but fuck it, it's funny.